09 July 2013

Brace yourselves... (an announcement from WelchCorp)

As mentioned in my previous post, it's been quite a while since we updated you on new goings-on here at WelchCorp. It should come as no surprise, then, that Big Thingstm have been afoot!

Hot on the heels of our unprecedented success with the launch of our maiden project, the Eleanor, our boys in the lab have been hard at work for the past several months on a new product - codenamed Clover1, during the internal development phases - that we think you'll be very interested in.

The lead developer from the Eleanor is back on board, and while we believe that his past work speaks for itself, he's promised that his current project will be just as unique, just as perfect, and just as awesome as his first endeavor with us. He's working long hours, designing and then building every single part of Clover with exacting detail and purpose. We can't wait to see the final product!

During the development phase, Clover must remain in the restricted lab fashioned for its creation, but we have been allowed limited peeks inside. The only photographs we've managed to sneak out have been fairly grainy, blurry, and low-res2, but we have been able to identify an external antenna, making Clover truly a revolutionary product for us!

It's important to note that Clover is not designed as a replacement for the existing Eleanor installation you may be familiar with. While it is possible to place each of the two components in its own sandbox environment, the two are designed to be installed concurrently, as their coexistence improves resource sharing and allows access to the existing development framework.

The Clover is expected to launch mid-November this year under its official product designation. Availability will be limited at first, but we expect to be able to put a Clover in the hands of anyone who wants to hold one by the first quarter of 2014.

1 - Also referred to as 'Squid', in some markets.

2 - Seriously, it's like we hired Mr Blurrycam to take our pre-release photos. We'll get pre-production images out soon, but not until we know what we're looking at!

A status update from WelchCorp

It's well past time that we here at WelchCorp update you, our consumers, about the current goings-on and plans up-and-coming. Our apologies for the long silence - let's hope the news makes up for it!
For starters, an update on our inaugural project, the Eleanor:

Development on the Eleanor continues to surpass all expectations - it seems like new features are added on a daily basis! Here's a short list of new features we've seen emerge since our last update:

  • Walking! 1
  • Communication! 2
  • Actual sleep!
  • Opening doors! (with handles)
  • Disassembling her nighttime sleep giraffe!
  • Drinking from a cup (sorta)
  • Logic! 3

And it's not just the software side of the house that's been hard at work - the Eleanor's hardware is seeing regular updates, as well. The current hardware spec is:

  • Height: 31.25"
  • Weight: 22lb 13oz
  • Head Diameter: 18.75"

And now, to further distract you from how long it's been since our last update - look at how awesome and adorable Eleanor is!
When I wear this bonnet,
I am awash in innocence.

Yup. That's my little lady!

1 - Yeah, it's been a really long time since our last update! I've got her application for toddler status lying around here somewhere - I'll make sure to post that sometime soon. (Spoiler: She got the promotion)

2 - We're starting to be able to distinguish some verbal communication ("dog" and "dad" sound a lot alike, as do "that" and "cat", but they're consistently similar, at least), and signs for "please", "up", "drink", "food", "more", "bath", "sleep", "all done", and "milk" are showing up more and more. We're also seeing a lot of nodding for "yes" and "no", in response to questions. Any day now, she'll be sassing us!

3 - That's right, we're all done for. Logical thinking has emerged. Some examples:
  • Eveningtime? Microwave dings? That must be my milk, so it must be time for my bath. I'll head over to the hallway to save time.
  • I'm feeling snackish. When Mom's on the couch, she normally has snacks on the end table that I can't reach. I'll just head over there, look starved, and sign "please" - she can't resist!
  • Snacks on the table in front of me? Awesome! Hands are not required!
Those are dried cranberries.
She's not headbanging.
... yet.