A status update from WelchCorp

It's well past time that we here at WelchCorp update you, our consumers, about the current goings-on and plans up-and-coming. Our apologies for the long silence - let's hope the news makes up for it!
For starters, an update on our inaugural project, the Eleanor:

Development on the Eleanor continues to surpass all expectations - it seems like new features are added on a daily basis! Here's a short list of new features we've seen emerge since our last update:

ROCK ON, MIIIIILK!

• Walking! ¹
• Communication! ²
• Actual sleep!
• Opening doors! (with handles)
• Disassembling her nighttime sleep giraffe!
• Drinking from a cup (sorta)
• Logic! ³

And it's not just the software side of the house that's been hard at work - the Eleanor's hardware is seeing regular updates, as well. The current hardware spec is:

• Height: 31.25"
• Weight: 22lb 13oz
• Head Diameter: 18.75"

And now, to further distract you from how long it's been since our last update - look at how awesome and adorable Eleanor is!

When I wear this bonnet, I am awash in innocence.

Who? Me?

Yup. That's my little lady!

¹ - Yeah, it's been a really long time since our last update! I've got her application for toddler status lying around here somewhere - I'll make sure to post that sometime soon. (Spoiler: She got the promotion)

² - We're starting to be able to distinguish some verbal communication ("dog" and "dad" sound a lot alike, as do "that" and "cat", but they're consistently similar, at least), and signs for "please", "up", "drink", "food", "more", "bath", "sleep", "all done", and "milk" are showing up more and more. We're also seeing a lot of nodding for "yes" and "no", in response to questions. Any day now, she'll be sassing us!

³ - That's right, we're all done for. Logical thinking has emerged. Some examples:

• Eveningtime? Microwave dings? That must be my milk, so it must be time for my bath. I'll head over to the hallway to save time.
• I'm feeling snackish. When Mom's on the couch, she normally has snacks on the end table that I can't reach. I'll just head over there, look starved, and sign "please" - she can't resist!
• Snacks on the table in front of me? Awesome! Hands are not required!

Those are dried cranberries.
She's not headbanging.
... yet.